KRISTA OVERBY BEST FRIEND

Jobs I’ve had in the past:

Babysitter

Dorney Park Employee - funnel cake maker and second as a sandwich/all around food concession stand worker

Oaktree salesperson

Candy and Nut Sales Person

Salesperson at the Express (who hasn’t worked for Limited Corp?)

Fund raiser - for Art Museum (via phone)

Telemarketer - performer of phone surveys

HR Manager

Marketing Manager

Survey Analyst

Admin Temp

NFL employee - Admin
Admin Temp

Transcriber

Business Manager at Summer Camp (in a few weeks)

Jobs I would like to have in the future:

It’s possible that I do not have the qualifications or talent for any of the jobs below. It’s also possible these jobs are only cool in theory and in real life they would suck.

Radio Show Host

Cruise Ship Performer

Therapist

Choreographer

Painter

Drug Dealer

Candle Maker

Monk

Bartender

Judge

Jury

Here I am in D.C.! I am officially not a resident of NYC…unless having the Bet-meister (my cat) still living with Josh counts…and that I also am still getting my mail sent to Josh’s….and that I really don’t have a residence anywhere else yet and….ok, so I’m in a residence limbo.

Leaving NYC hurt so bad. Most of the hurt came when I fell down Josh’s stairs right before I left. Friends, I fell hard down those wooden stairs. Right on my ass. It’s funny what happens when get you hurt. The first thing I always do is take an inventory of the pain. Basically, just to make sure I haven’t hurt something that will hinder my ability to walk or type. Luckily, my pain was relegated mostly to my ass-region and my lower left leg. Nothing that would need medical attention. Phew. However, the pain was intense. My ankle ended up swelling and so did my butt cheek. Yes, when you can see your butt cheek has swollen you know you have problems. I’m still in pain, everywhere I go I am limping and holding my ass. It’s not a pretty sight. But I shall survive. It’s one of those things where I feel like Jebus was like, hmmm, you are emotional right now, lets give you some physical pain too! And it will be good.

I threw a goodbye party for myself on Friday night. I wasn’t going to, but all of my friends were like, You have to! And it has to be a Karaoke party! I think they just wanted an excuse to get drunk and sing, but I am a good friend, so I humor them. I have some awesome pictures, I need to post them. Josh and Tom were in rare form and they sang their little hearts out…God bless ‘em. Oh, and guess who showed up at my party, completely uninvited! Jay, from the first season of Project Runway. Ha, we are all such reality show bitches we were star struck. He and all of his friends were all completely dressed in black and showed their appreciation of performances by flipping us the bird…is that the cool way of telling us we are awesome, cause that’s how we took it. You can’t bring us down reality star and your posse! We built this city on rock and roll and we had the time of our lives!

Now excuse me while I put more ice on my ass.

So, I haven’t received any questions lately for my advice column.  How the hell is Krista Overby Best Friend supposed to give advice if no one ever asks her anything???  I know you people have problems…hell, I know many of you personally and I KNOW you have problems.  haha.  So, ask Krista Overby Best Friend.  She knows her shit and she loves to share her brilliant knowledge with others.  If you have a question just write to askmybestfriend@gmail.com.

Also, please look for a future section - Best Friend of the Month - on this website.  This section will highlight not only, Krista Overby’s best friends (there are so many), but yours as well.  If you have a best friend you would like to feature, let me know, and your best friend will have a month devoted to them on this website.  Just send a picture of your best friend and a few details about them…I will make up the rest.

I have to tell you about this woman I’ve been working with here at Bonds R Us. She’s perfectly nice and if I sensed even a tiny tiny bit of malice on her bobbed blond head I would be upset by her behavior, but because she comes across, instead, as a bumbling Alzheimer’s patient, I forgive her. And you should too.

So this is what she does.

Pretty much every other day I’ve worked here she has asked me what my name was. “what’s your name again?” is her common phrase of choice. “Um, Krista!” I reply. Hoping that if I seem unsure of my own name it might make her feel less upset by her own forgetfulness…every day. However, she really doesn’t seem that ashamed that she forgets. Instead it’s like she forgets, she has forgotten my name before. Now, in case you’ve forgotten, this is my 3rd week temping here! And she sits right next to me. Haha.

And today something occurred that put the icing on the cake. She came over to me and said, “Do you know they serve free breakfast in the break room?” Um, hello, I’m a temp, I knew that before I even started working here! We know these things! Hell, you people who read this blog knew they served free breakfast in the break room. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. If it were anyone else I probably would have said something smartassy in response, but because she probably has sustained a traumatic brain injury or is currently fighting off brain eating organisms I just replied with a happy, “Yes I did and it is good”.

This is my last week in New York, my friends. I am sad. Sad to be leaving this gorgeous city. Sad to be leaving good friends. But I am also excited. Excited for spending my entire summer at camp. Excited to move to a new city in August. Excited to meet new friends. New York has been good to me. It has also sucked the life force out of my body and spit out a broken shell of a girl. That’s what makes this city so confusing. On one hand it offers you the world, but with its other hand it punches you hard in the gut and then laughs at you. New York, thanks for the concerts, the culture, the book lovers, the colors, the laughs, and the punches. I’ll miss you, but I won’t have as many bruises where I’m heading.

I officially don’t have a home in NYC any longer. Hell, I don’t have a home anywhere at the moment. It’s not the best feeling in the world. I’m living off of the kindness of friends at the moment and it sucks. I also miss my bed…which is currently residing in a 10×10 storage facility in PA.

“Because of you, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk”… boy that song has been in my head for quite awhile now… I think it means I need to buy the Kelly Clarkson cd.

Anyway, what was I saying…oh yes, I have no home all my stuff is in storage, but it is pretty outside today and I have a nice view from my office window.  It’s Cinco de Mayo this weekend and Abby is throwing a huge ass party and she’s promised to get me drunk…can’t get much better than that.

I think I’m gonna go watch Friday Night Lights on NBC now…they have all the episodes loaded on to their website and I’ve managed to watch about 14 of them so far…only 7 more to go!  haha.  I was freaking out the other day because I was crushing on the actor who plays the coach on that show and I realized that I now have passed over into the magical age where I no longer crush on the high school actors…no, I’m into the “grown ups” on the show….man.

Oh, I am also back to blond now.  Ally, my beauty school sister, colored my hair back to blond this weekend and she did a darn good job too.  I think that girl is gonna be on heck of a stylist!  And I couldn’t be happier.  There is nothing a blond likes better than getting her highlights done for free!  Whooo.  Also, I’ve planned to push her to become a stylist with her own haircare line..like Paul Mitchel, or Vidal Sassoon - that way she can support my temping ass.

That is all.

Ooh, yeah! All right!
We’re tempin’:
I wanna temp it wid you.
We’re tempin’, tempin’,
And I hope you like tempin’, too.

I have yet another temp job this week.  This one might last a few weeks though, which is nice.  It might actually be my LAST TEMP JOB IN NYC.  I would say ever, but I’m pretty sure I’ll have to temp again in Denver…at least for a bit.

Anyway, because I know you all love it…here is my temp rating for this job…I’ll call it - Bonds R Us.  And a little side note - I think someone from the company found this here blog the other day (thank you site meter)….so hi friendly Bonds R Us employee, I heart you and your company.
As always here is the rating grade system:

1 = Hellish
3 = Are they serious with this shit?
5 = Fine, if you have no expectations
7 = Niiiice
10 = Are there any job openings?

I grade the following perks: snacks and drinks, chair, other admins, boss man, location, and extras.

• First and foremost Snacks and Drinks: 8 -  Hello free breakfast!  Whohoo…or should I say, hello continental breakfast…isn’t that what hotels and conferences call coffee, bagels, and danii (plural of danish)?  It be cool if for once free breakfast meant man in big white hat cookin me up an omelet, but a temp needs to take what she can get.  The coffee is good and the food is plentiful.  Although, some orange juice would be appreciated.
• Chair: 4 - It’s too low (damn mini people again) and I can’t figure out how to raise it.  I should switch it out with another one, but I can’t be bothered…although if I will be here a few weeks, perhaps I should look into it.
• Other Admins: 9 - Really cool, nice people here.  Seriously, I’m not just saying this.  Nice atmosphere.  People say hello in the halls and make small talk.  You would be surprised how often this doesn’t happen in other companies.  Especially financial firms.  Somehow they have fostered a nice company culture here.
• Boss Man:10 - This rating doesn’t come along that often, but this guy is pretty cool.  Anyone who will make small talk with me for 15 minutes about weird things is golden in my book.  It makes me miss my days with Mr. R..my old boss man who would chat about his childhood and the latest book he was reading about Mormons or torture or salt..or whatever it happened to be that day.
• Location: 10 - Another 10 - whoohoo, I know you must be thinking…either this place rocks or Krista is back on the pipe…well it’s not the pipe people…this place is only 20 minutes from my house, door-to-door.  It’s located down on the river, overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge and South Street Seaport.  I’ve never had such a short commute in all my years in NYC. It’s so nice.  I don’t even bring anything to read, I just pop my iPod in and before I know it I’m here.
• Extras:6 - Not much extra.  In fact, there is one main detractor from my happiness.  My cube is located right in front of the men’s bathroom…so this being a trading company there are a lot of men here…and the bathroom is constantly in use.  Which really isn’t the worst of it.  The worst of it is the noises these men make while in there.  I never realized how much men like to make noises while voiding.  Is it that much of a release?  Jeez.  It’s actually kind of funny and I’m sure I’ll start tuning it out eventually.  Note to the future floor planners…don’t put a cube/office in front of a restroom…it is just wrong.  Side note - Yesterday was Secretary’s Day and the company bought flowers for all the admins…and they included me.  Isn’t that nuts.  It was only my second day of temping…haha.  Nice move Bonds R Us.

Overall Score: I’m too lazy to calculate these anymore..so let’s just say it’s adequate and I feel lucky I scored this place for my last few weeks in the city…gosh, I still can’t believe I’m leaving.

I’m moving out of my apartment on Sunday morning…anyone who wants to help me move I’m buying coffee and breakfast sandwiches….I’ll even get you extra bacon if you want it….

Phil, originally uploaded by Erin Lady Byrne.

To anyone who hasn’t seen this set on Flickr yet, you really must drop everything you are doing right now and take a look. Seriously…drop everything.

Now.

I am temping all this week and maybe the following few weeks at a company that does not allow access to internet based emial accounts.  Sure, it serves free breakfast and has great coffee, but no personal email access?  That just seems un-American.  If you want to get in contact with me, please leave a comment below with your email address (as I don’t know anyone’s email address from memory) and I will email you from my work address - at least they set me up with one of those.  Commies.  BTW - remember Yeltsin? 

Sign, originally uploaded by kriscuz.

I took a picture of this sign in Maryland. Um…seriously…CANNOT BE DESTROYED!

raccoon, originally uploaded by kriscuz.

As promised, here is my breakdown of visiting the camp I’ll be working at this summer. The picture is of Rocky, the guitar pickin mascot of the camp. I didn’t see any raccoons, but I DID see a woodpecker, osprey, eagles, and a white tailed deer that ran right in front of me while I was walking up a path…right in front of me!

Basically, it rocked and I’m so excited to start in June. It’s such a change from Brooklyn and city life, but I think it can only be good for me. Wearing hiking boots, no make-up, being in the sun, working hard, swimming, being around really silly people, singing a lot of songs that have repeating verses….what more can you ask for.

Something struck me as odd though and I haven’t mentioned this to anyone. I met a lot of camper parents this past weekend and you know what was weird….they were mostly around my age. And I realized that if I would have married at the same age my parents did and had a kid, I would have an 8 year old right now….and 8 year old! Who would be going to camp! Holy crazy pants! One of the moms was talking about when she went to camp…in 95…Um, I was graduating college in 95. Nuts. But I don’t care…they were all jealous that I could just drop everything and move into a cabin for the entire summer. So the jokes on them…procreating suckers!

Ok, major change in topic now…I’m writing this as I watch American Idol and they just credited Tim McGraw with writing When the Stars Go Blue…dudes..it was Ryan Adams…get it right. Man that’s a good song, I’ve never heard Tim McGraw’s version, but I guarantee it wasn’t half as good as Adams’.