KRISTA OVERBY BEST FRIEND

From the bowels of hell.

This following text is taken directly from weather.com for my location.
Partly Cloudy 100°F Feels Like 110°F

Updated Aug 8 05:00 p.m. ET Watch the Baltimore Forecast UV Index: 2 Low Wind: From WNW at 11 mph Humidity: 41% Pressure: 29.73 in. Dew Point: 72°F Visibility: 10.0 miles NEW! Advanced Storm Tracking

I’m sitting in the office and sweat is pouring down my head.  All I just did was take the trash out.  I am probably losing a quart of sweat from doing basically nothing.  These poor kids here.  I am lucky - I get to sleep in air conditioning.  If I were here at camp in this weather I’d be crying for my mommy and doing one of those toddler - lay on the ground in a heap - maneuvers.   It’s 6:30 PM and still in the 100’s…just imagine what noon was like.

Thank the Lord it’s the last week of camp.  I’m done!  I feel like I’ve been in juvie all summer.  I’m even becoming more aggressive…that’s what having no freedom will do to you.  Now I know why inmates lift all those weights.  Perhaps the camp director should look into buying some free weights and a squat rack for next year.

Well, I think I hear the keys coming…maybe it’s time for chow.

You know how hard it is not to have the last Harry Potter book spoiled while working at a summer camp? Very hard. So hard in fact that we’ve had to have several announcements during camp explaining how we don’t talk about Harry Potter at camp. It’s turning into the book that shall not be named. Out of the 30 staff members here I would say about 20 of them are reading the book. I haven’t yet got a good number on the campers reading it, but I will tomorrow because I’m organizing a group photo of everyone here and their book. It’s gonna be pretty sweet. So far no one has spoiled anything. I’m about 1/4 of the way through the book. Wish me luck.

I had a crazy age moment the other day. I was speaking to a camper about music. She’s 14 and pretty music savvy for her age. I was speaking to her like I would any of my friends about music and shows she has been to. When all of a sudden age came up and another camper asked me how old I am. When I said, 32, the camper I was speaking to about music sat up straight and said, “My dad is 32!” I just about choked. Her dad is 32! Holy hell! Granted her parents had her young, but still it go me thinking. I could be most of these kid’s parent. I COULD BE THEIR PARENT! If I had kids when my parents did I would have 8 year old and a 2 year old looking up at me right now asking me to take them to Chuckie Cheese. Thank heavens that’s not the case, if not for me, for those damn kids who probably would be saving up already for future therapy sessions. Crazy thoughts. I do want to have kids one day…as I say that my eggs are laughing their asses off saying, “Krista in 3 more years you will be considered high risk and we are developing genetic issues as you write in your silly blog!” Ok, so yeah, I’m taking my good ole time and I’m sure my eggs and my mother is thinking I’ve waited too long, but I think I’ve probably made a good decision by not popping out a litter in my 20’s. I think my future kids agree with me.

One more thought before I go. This one is about underwear (and I will let you draw your own conclusions if this has anything to do with me not procreating yet or not). As most of my friends know, I like to wear big undies. Yes. Big Undies. Granny panties if you will. I like full coverage over my cheeks. Don’t get me wrong, I like to feel pretty, but my comfort always wins out over sexy. So all of my friends make fun of me, I probably get the worst of it from my little sister who always looks at me in horror when she gets a look at my giant underpants peaking out (ok, it’s more of a peak and more of a 4 inch stare). I also have some underwear that’s bigger than others. Like I have this pair of skin colored undies that are so big I can pull them out from my pants and pull them up over my breasts. Yeah. Those are really big…and stretchy. And one time I chased my friend Lu around my house with my big undies up over my chest yelling, “Big Undies!” until he screamed like a girl and passed out. Anyway, you get the picture. Big Undies, I wear them. So, I’m hear at camp and you know what I notice. There are a lot of big undie wearers here! Everywhere I look I see inches of stretchy cotton coming out of pants! Maybe I’ve finally found my people!

Or maybe I’ve finally found a place where adult woman don’t have anyone to impress, sweat a lot, run around after kids and realize that comfort is the way to go. Perhaps some of them will leave camp never to return to the bikini bottom? I doubt it, but while I’m here I feel like I’m home.

God Damn I feel good today!  I feel reborn.  I feel like I’ve been painting the toenails of Satan for the last week, but today raised up by the hand of Jebus into heaven.  You want to know why?  Cause the heat has dissipated and left us with a beauty of a day.  The sky is blue and the leaves are blowing in the cool breeze. Even the birds are happier.

All week at camp we’ve had killer heat.  The kind of heat that makes the news channels say, “if you don’t have to be outside, don’t go out.”  Gee, thanks News Channel, we are LIVING outside you inconsiderate jerks.  The kids have been miserable.  The staff has been even more miserable because at least the kids have activities to distract them.  Even then we have a lot of cryin going on.  Let me tell you, there is no better answer to the call of motherhood than having to listen to a bunch of 8 year olds cry about wanting to go home.  My eggs can wait a bit longer thank you very much.

In other news, I’m doing fine.  I miss my home and then I get even more sad when I realize I don’t have a home anymore to miss.  I am getting excited about my move to Denver, but then I get upset when I think about how I still don’t know how I’m going to move my stuff out there.  I can afford the Uhaul, but gas is mad expensive yo!   I just want to be in Denver, in a nice little apartment, with my cat (shout out to the sandwich!), and going to quiz nights with the J and Liz.  That’s all.  Some nice weather, some fun, my comfy bed.

Hmm, back to my issue of getting to Denver.  Anyone have any ideas about how I can move?  I wonder if Penske (which is waaay cheaper than Uhual) would sponsor my trip?  haha.  I could document my trip and take pictures and talk about how awesome Penske is.  PENSKE ARE YOU LISTENING! forget about advertising on Nascar, you need Krista Overby Best Friend!

Well, I better get back to work.  Tonight is the closing ceremonies for camp and tomorrow the campers leave.  We usually get Friday night and Saturday off, but this weekend we have people using the camp.  However, I’m trying to see the bright side of things and I think I’ll be lifeguarding all weekend, which means plenty of time in the sun near a pool…so I can’t complain much can I?

I finished my motorboat course this evening. 3 days of sitting in front of an old guy named Orville tell us (us = me and 2 other people I’m working with this summer) boating stories. We think his wife might be named Aunt Jemima. Tonight was supposed to be our final test. We were not ready. We had not studied. Orville instructed us the test would be open book. Who studies for an open book exam? Suckers, that’s who. And we are not suckers. We are though very lucky. Why you ask, cause Orville forgot the exams and passed us all anyway. Can you believe that shit? I’m not complaining..oh no. I am happy. Happy I didn’t have to sit for an hour and look for answers in my boating book. Very happy. I’m not sure the state I am in would be happy knowing about Orville and his forgotten tests…I’m also not sure how other boaters on the river will feel about our being certified…in a non-test taking way this summer…but I am very pleased. I did learn something. I learned about red port, green starboard…I learned about the bow and the stern and the anchor rode and how to wrap the docking line around the boat cleats…so I think I’ll be fine. As long as I don’t have any young charges to keep safe in the water…oh wait.

What else is going on…well, tomorrow night we are all heading down to the camp and staying in a tent because all of the cabins are filled with weekend guests. I’ll be able to move into my cabin on Tuesday. It looks like this weekend will be filled with cleaning and setting up my office. As well as a kayak trip and maybe some swimming, which makes all the cleaning worth it.

In other news, my ankle is STILL paining me. I’m starting to get a bit worried about it…only because I am going to be doing a lot of hiking this summer…hello, summer camp! Anyway, it’s still swollen and stuff, especially at night after a full day of using it. What could be wrong? Any medical professionals read this blog? Anyone want to volunteer some medical advice? Anyone without any medical training want to take a wild guess at what could be wrong? It’s been almost 3 weeks since my fall. Damn.