KRISTA OVERBY BEST FRIEND

Dear Best Friend,

I was online and catching up with an old friend from college, and he told me that my ex-boyfriend of 5 years, who told me he never wanted to get married or settle down and have kids, is now married and buying a house. That was kind of traumatic. Still is, actually. Even though I know I’m better off now and have an even better guy and a happier life, I still can’t help being pissed off. And I’m not sure what to do about it.  How do I put that heartache behind me?

Yours,

Ol’Heartachey

Dear Ol’Heart,

I’ve always felt that once you love someone, I mean really love someone, you will always love them - until the day your heart stops beating.  And that doesn’t mean you will pine for them or wish that it was you they were kissing, but you will always have a spot for them in your brain, filed under - Sigh.  (Feel free to use other file categories if Sigh doesn’t work for you)  That being said, it’s completely normal to feel that pang when you hear someone you loved is preparing to devote his/her life to another - especially if that person was never prepared to do the same for you.  In your case, there is the added knife in the gut because you realize that, in reality the boy you loved wasn’t against marriage - He was against marrying you. 

This sounds so harsh and I know it is, but those are just the facts.  Emotionally there could be so many other factors.  Your ex-boyfriend is now older…and perhaps more prepared for marriage.  Your ex-boyfriend could have knocked-up his bethrothed thus hastening a speedy wedding before her professional hit man father decides to hunt him down.  Your ex-boyfriend, having gone through a break-up and losing a previous girlfriend (you) because he wouldn’t settle down decided he didn’t want to go through that again and just gave in.  Your ex-boyfriend could have merely just changed his mind because he realized that growing older and alone just wasn’t the way he wanted to go. 

That being said, rejoice in the fact that you, gorgeous, have a lovely boyfriend who you are happy with and who, hopefully, gives you good lovin on a regular basis.

Feel free to be a little sad about the final loss of the ex-love, but don’t be sad he changed his mind about marriage.  You two weren’t meant to be together.  Be thankful one of you realized that and you were free to go on to better lives.  Separate, but so much better.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 at 2:40 pm and is filed under Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.