KRISTA OVERBY BEST FRIEND

Well, What do you know, KO Best Friend got an advice question emailed to her!  Lucky day, I’d been feeling this build up of excess wisdom and looky here…I get to expel some right out onto this here internet.  So, lets get right to it.
Dear BF,

My brother is taking a bunch of college courses like ethics, humanities, english, piano, physics, geometry, geography, orchestra, basically everything, and he has to write 100 page papers for every one of these classes. He wants me to help him write these endless papers at midnight every night. So he drags me into the computer room to sit with him while he sings along to Les Miserables and doesn’t write. It is highly entertaining for awhile, but I am tired, and these 100 page papers aren’t any closer to getting finished. Thanks for you wisdom BF.

(Insert clever pseudonym here. My brain is mush.) Ok, I will, and I choose Sucker Sister.

Dear SS,

Oh man I remember those days.  I sat for hours in my bedroom as a teenager singing On My Own…oh God, here I go…I can’t stop it - On my own pavement shines like silver…Oh and the best part would be when the climax of the song comes and you sing out - And I know, it’s only in my mind!  When I’m talking to myself and not to him….oh man…that’s some great stuff.   I know I wasn’t the only one who used to sing this song alone in her room at 14 (Jennie B).

Anyway, back to your dilemma.  Sister it seems like on one hand you have one little over achieving brother on your hand.  (He’s got one heavy course load.  He must go to one crazy school, I don’t think I ever had to write a hundred page paper.)  And on the other hand you have a brother that is probably so overwhelmed he reaches out to the only two things that make him feel like they can help…you and show tunes.  I think it’s great he feels like you can help him as long as it’s just help.  Do you think he feels that if he sings enough depressing numbers you will feel just like Jean Vajean and want to do everything for him?  Stealing a loaf of bread for your family is one thing and doing all your brothers work is another.  And what’s with this waiting until midnight to ask for assistance?  Sounds to me like your brother has a bad case of the Fuck!  I’m in over my head so I’m just going to ignore everything and hope it will go away disease, but in the meantime I’m going to try one last ditch effort and see if someone else will do it all for me…which is one step above the…maybe it will all go away part….trust me on this…I’ve been there.

If I can offer you any advice it would be to sit down with your brother and say - Listen dude, I want to be able to help you.  I like the fact you think I can get you through rough patches, but this is your work, not mine.  If you want me to help you work through some tough pages or edit some stuff, let me know…in advance and definitely not at midnight…or even after prime time television is over.   But little dude, I can’t do your work for you.  I would then ask him if he feels overwhelmed and perhaps offer to help him figure out if he can drop a course or two.  Get him to speak with an adviser at the school who might be able to speak with him about getting back on track, or even offer some thoughts about extensions.  I know the over-achievers of this world don’t like to admit they can’t do it all, but your brother might be using his late night vocal stylings as a call for help.

And if anything, perhaps he should consider a future in musical theater.  He could drop everything except piano and orchestra and just focus on what makes him happy, which in this case is poor French people and the heartbreak of unrequited love.

Yours,

Krista Overby Best Friend