KRISTA OVERBY BEST FRIEND

Happy New Year.

Sorry I haven’t written in awhile.  I’ve been busy with life business. I’ve had ideas about things I want to write about. I had an open letter to Caroline Rhea all ready to go in my head. It was a letter asking her why she wore the outfit she wore on the Biggest Loser finale last month..or was it the month before?? I can’t remember.

Anyway, it was basically asking her why she has such bad taste. I also had a side letter prepared for the producers of the show asking them why they don’t hire her a stylist. The show seems to be popular…I would think they would have a budget for Caroline to buy some clothes. It seems she gets most of her clothes at JC Penney…or perhaps TJ Max. They don’t just look cheap…they are completely wrong for her. She is round…I understand the perils of being round, because I am round. We round people can’t wear round clothes. We need angles. We need sharp edges to counter our own roundness….Caroline wore a dress on the finale made entirely of round edges..and it was just so sad. Caroline, if you somehow come across the post I want you to email me. Give me a budget and 2 hours and I’ll make you look 200 times better. Promise. Love from one round girl to another.

This post is not supposed to be about Caroline Rhea…it’s supposed to be about my New Year’s Day adventure. Yes, I had an adventure! I had an idea a few months back about something I wanted to do. I guess I’ve always wanted to do it…since the first time I heard about it. So this year I was like, damn it…do it! Do it Krista! Follow thru on something for God’s sake! So I did it…and this is what I did…

I did the Coney Island Polar Bear New Year’s Day swim! I said I was going to do it…and by God I did it. I don’t think anyone thought I would go through with it…maybe even me. I think I surprised myself. Not only did I need to wake up early-ish after staying up until 6 AM the night before, I had to don a bathing suit (not an pleasant task), take off my pants exposing my pasty white skin, and jump in an icy cold body of water! ICY.

Here’s how it went down. The night before I couldn’t sleep so I thought I would save time in the morning by getting a bag together of things I would need the next day - primarily my bathing suit, which I hadn’t seen in awhile. So I start looking…and looking…and finally find it..in a bag…with my sarong…which I hadn’t worn since August…and I apparently had forgotten about it and let it sit…wet…in the bag…for MONTHS. And it SMELLED…bad. But I didn’t have a choice, I had to wear it. I had no other suiting options. So I fabreezed the shit out of it, hung it up and hoped for the best.

In the morning I woke up at 10 AM and walked over to the suit…and it still stank of mold and old chlorine..the fabreeze hadn’t worked. Oh well, I figured I would be in the water soon and the ocean would wash that smell right away.

My friend, Rebecca, who I had told a few weeks ago my plan to jump in the ocean decided to join the madness and brought her little sister, visiting from Ohio, along. The ever silent Josh came along too as the official photographer. He soon found himself in the role of mom as well, as we looked to him to watch our bags and towel us off.

We road the F train to Coney Island looking like bag ladies in our sweats, tee shirts, old jackets, and greasy New Year’s eve hair. We joked that Josh had probably never had the “pleasure” of escorting such lovely woman, and probably never would again. As we walked toward the boardwalk we saw an assortment of other Polar Bears gathering. It was quite an eclectic gathering of individuals. Stout men with giant beer bellies, young girls with bikinis and sequined pants, old ladies wearing fur coats..all of us deciding the best place to be was at the trash strewn shores of Coney Island…in our bathing suits…in the rain…ready to jump in the cold cold Atlantic. I really would have considered it an enjoyable day even with the ocean plunge. Just watching all the people was enough for me. I could have sat my ass down on the beach and smiled just observing. The tubby little lady with the black bathing suit and camera mounted on a helmet. The two jokers wearing bad polar bear costumes fake fighting on the beach. The group of Staten Island Polar Bears who looked like they were still riding the beer wave from the night before.

Our little group decided we needed a club name and immediately dubbed ourselves the Pen-guines….pronounced either Pain-gun or Pen-gwine depending on your disposition. I preferred the former. Josh made up a flag out of a receipt and his umbrella. It was glorious.

Finally, it was time to jump in. People started pealing their clothes off, piece-by-piece. Trying to keep as much on as possible until the final moments. There was some sort of countdown and all of a sudden people just started running for the water. I tore my jacket off and grabbed Rebecca’s hand and ran for it.

The first touch of water on my toes didn’t feel that bad. I guess it was just the knowledge that there was no turning back…it was all or nothing…and there was no way I came all the way to Coney Island for nothing. So I kept going and all of a sudden I was up to my waist and the waves were coming at me. The waters were fairly choppy since we were having a bit of rain and wind on Sunday. I think it was then I had the flash. It was sort of a white light sort of feeling. Don’t laugh…I’m not making a dying joke - I’m talking like this jolt of whoah! It felt great. Then I came too and found that I had lost one flip-flop (not the best ocean shoe) and still needed to dunk. The rule is you need to be completely submerged in order for it to count. So, I looked at Rebecca and she had already gone under and she said come on..you need to go under…so I walked out a little deeper, took a deep breath and went under…for like 2 second and then ran for shore. Rebecca found my shoe and when I finally made it to dry ground I found I couldn’t catch my breath. I have a touch of asthma and this probably wasn’t the smartest idea - I think my mother said it best when she said - but Krista, your lungs!
But I made it. Rebecca and I ran to Josh and found her sister already changing into dry clothes. We took some obligatory post-swim pictures, watched a woman get naked in front of everyone, and decided to look for a place to eat. PS - my bathing suit still smelled bad after the swim.

In about 5 minutes we found ourselves in front of heaping portions of Nathan’s hot dogs and cheese fries. Delish and the perfect after swim treat.

After our lunch we made it back to the subway and I went home to a hot shower, my pjs, and an afternoon of cozy movie watching. It was pretty much the perfect day.

I’m gonna do it again next year, but before I do I’m gonna have to buy a new swimsuit.