KRISTA OVERBY BEST FRIEND

Dear BFF,

Lately I’ve been having some existential dilemmas about the direction my life is going -assuming it is in fact going in any direction at all and not, as I fear, wandering aimlessly along the edge of a cliff only to eventually plunge off into a scorpion-filled pit. What can I do to make myself start waking up in the morning feeling optimistic about the proceeding day, rather than succumbing to the usual apathy that greets me?

Yours,

Seeking A Really Truly Rich Existence

Dear Desperately Seeking Sartre,

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  wha, huh, sorry…I must have drifted off there.  I don’t mean to make light of your question, it’s just….so….bor-ing.  Meaning of Life - Shmeaning of Life is what my imaginary Grandpa always said and I pretty much agree with him.  There isn’t a meaning to any of this and that’s why it’s up to you to make it as entertaining as possible while you are here. 

First things first…there are no scorpian pits in the United States.  Unless it’s of the metal variety or you are on Fear Factor.  You will never be minding your own business, walking down Broadway, when a pit filled with eight legged venomous invertebrates sucks you into their den.  Ok, well maybe if you live in Arizona you might find some scorpians…but how often do they congregate in a pit?  And why do you think your bony ass would be something they would want to chomp on?  Per-chaps, they would take a pass on you and suck up some little chubby baby…mmm, baby meat….where was I?  Oh yes, scorpians…not gonna happen…next.

Waking up apathy-less…have you considered drugs?  Wake and baking perhaps?  Or maybe a lovely pharmaceutical?  Or maybe you should just be happy you are alive, young, and healthy.  Judging from your email you seem generally intelligent and maybe even a bit humorous…I guess what I’m getting to is that you need to focus on the positive.  And the only way you can do that is by sheer force of willpower.  Just don’t allow your self to go down the dark road.  It’s hard and sometimes your little head is going to go there anyway, but if you try, just a little bit, hopefully it will get easier and easier every day that progresses. 

And if you want to know what works for me, I find that making fun of people is an excellent way to make myself feel better…also cookies, reality tv, a good book, sexin, and travel…especially traveling alone.  It’s empowering and makes for good stories later.  Also, don’t stay too long in a bad situation and try everything once.

I hope this helps…try not to think too much Mr./Ms. Thoughtfull-pants…sometimes you just have to be happy with existing.