Oh, are you still here?
I know it’s been forever, but I have an excuse. My life took a little left turn and I had to follow the life train for a bit. I wasn’t feeling too creative, but I am back on track again and feeling the need to emote. I had big ideas for this site. BIG and they still might happen, but for now I’m going to just treat it like a normal blog.
So, just to start I’m going to take a moment to express my feelings about a few issues I’ve had trouble with recently. The first being small people who use giant umbrellas. Am I the only person that feels the size of your umbrella should be in direct proportion to your own body size? Lately there seems to be a little person/giant umbrella society in NYC and I’m pissed. Now, I know I do have some negative feelings toward the mini people of the world. I was blessed with a nice height and come from a family of tall people. I never had to search for my 6′4 Dad in a crowd, I just stood on my toes and looked for the tallest guy in the room. So I know I am lucky to be tall and I don’t want all the mini people of the world to die a horrible death, I just want them to use umbrellas that aren’t bigger than a beach umbrella.
Little people (those of you under 5′3) please do not buy or agree to use an umbrella that is wider than the width of your height. First, you don’t need that much cover. You are small! Second, you can’t handle it. If you have to use two hands to hold up your umbrella, it’s too big. And Third, You are short, that means the umbrella will hit normal to large sized people below their chest. And we get hit from your umbrella fall out. Also, most people will lift their umbrellas over people to let them pass on the sidewalk and because you are short you don’t have the wingspan to do that, you need to make up for that and use smaller umbrella that doesn’t take up too much room. Just like you, small person.
In summary, small person, don’t buy a golf umbrella to sheild yourself from the cloud droplets because it pisses me off. Here are some nice alternatives - Perhaps a nice dome,or a lovely child’s duck umbrella (if you are the size of a child, no harm using things designed for them), perhaps you could attach a nice pet umbrella to your jacket (hands free!) Do not use this…this is not for sidewalks…do not use this either, this is for doormen who need to cover multiple, average sized people or…me (a person over 5′8).
October 23rd, 2006 at 11:06 am
OHHHH thank you for this.
I cannot tell you how much the small people annoy me with their giant umbrellas. I have almost been whacked in the face/chest SO MANY DAMN TIMES. I think it’s mighty presumptuous for ANYBODY to carry an umbrella that takes up most of the sidewalk anyways (what, it’s ok for me to get wet (or hit in the face by YOUR UMBRELLA) but you’ll melt if a raindrop so much as touches you, princess?) let alone people who can’t even pretend to maneuver it out of the way.
Uh. So I guess I just repeated everything you just said. In short, I agree.
October 24th, 2006 at 10:36 am
Indeed. there’s a lot of truth here. Part 2 of your rant should be about how they always try to jab you in the head with the spikey end of the giant umbrella. Don’t they know they could put someone’s eye out?
October 24th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
omg. she’s BACK!
October 26th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
the life train. love it.